Salem Lutheran Church

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​Why do you doubt?

I was always a really confident kid. I look back at pictures of my childhood and ask my mom why she dressed me that way and pulled my hair into a fountain on top of my head, but at the time it didn’t bother me in the slightest. I fell in love with music early on, and decided when I was in 3rd grade that I would study music in college and be a music teacher. I followed my dream, and was so very lucky to have amazing teachers along the way who motivated and encouraged me. I never had a doubt that I would live the dream I had in 3rd grade.

And then I attempted to teach vocal music at an inner city high school in KCK. There was so much talent and I loved the kids, but about two weeks in I realized I had made a mistake. My heart was broken – I couldn’t believe that I didn’t enjoy teaching music! Luckily, after the school year I found an opportunity to move my teaching to church choirs, and 20 years later I still love what I do. But for a year I discovered how it feels to doubt yourself, and stop trusting your own judgment and insight.

Peter was a pretty confident guy, especially when he asked Jesus to command that he walk to him on water in Matthew 14. When he became frightened and started sinking, he cried out, “Lord, save me!” which, of course, Jesus did. I love the imagery of Jesus immediately reaching out his hand to catch him, but cringe a little when he says, “you of little faith, why did you doubt?”

We all have our moments of doubt, and it’s in those troubled times that our Lord wants us to cry out to Him. His hand is always reaching, and His peace is there for those who reach out and grasp it.

In Christ’s love,

Heather Lewis


Tags: Weekly Word